IN RETROSPECT, the following is a bit extreme., and too long.  But, I let it stand. I am not whipping myself. I am attempting to present myself, AS I AM, to others who desire to interact with me, to optimize our efforts. I hope that this openness doesn’t turn you off from engaging me.

I am dedicated to TRANSPARENCY. I have nothing to hide, although there are aspects of myself I don’t desire to promote or broadcast.

  •    I speculate that optimal transparency is necessary for humankind’s survival/thrival.
  •     I was recently praised for my openness, which was good to hear.
  •     In being transparent, I am not attempting to push myself on anyone.
  •     I posit that the more two communicants know unique details of each other, the better they can share. Our diversity is vast.
  •    I realize that inputting personal detail can be too time consuming and often not all that relevant, at the moment.

I have changed and am changing, so it is important that others who wish to engage my attention need to comprehend who they are dealing with. I have come to comprehend myself composed of three “aspects”:

Larry: my physical/biological/psychological/social “being”, including the patterns of neural-molecular activity within my brain and body. [I approach my inner microbiol inhabitants as an inner environment, and not part of myself. Although Larry has developed symbiosis with many of them.]
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nuet: the inner/woven/emergent “wrld” hosted by Larry’s mind/brain. In analogy, nuet is the continuous “symphony” playing on the “orchestra” of Larry’s brain. nuet serves as the context for Larry’s experiences and behaviors. nuet is an autopoietic entity. Larry’s experiences are outputs from nuet and some of his behavior is channeling nuet.

LJV (Laurence Joseph Victor): The impact of Larry/nuet on Gaia/Humankind – including the “archive” of his productivity, primarily texts.

DOB: 01/24/1935. I have lived and experienced those 82+ years, which has molded WHO I AM (take me or leave me). I never chose to be whom I have become. I often wonder about the many “coincidences” of my life. My deep speculations have “time” as not strictly linear, and that different moments can interact in a process I call “feedpast bootstrapping”. The emergence of Larry/nuet may involve this process.

I have come to comprehend myself as a “savant”, a person of extremes in disabilities and abilities. In a sense, we are all “savants”. In the phase space of potential human competencies, we are as wire sculptures, there is more open space than space filled with wire (competencies). In teams and crews we can complement each other’s assets. The pattern of competency overlap is as important as the complementary assets from each to the whole.

Unfortunately, I have not ever been part of a viable team or crew.

Face-to-Face with Larry

Larry never acquired/developed many social skills, although he has functioned fairly well  in social groups.  He can, at times, be very alert and attentive to the personal needs of others; but there are many times he is oblivious of others and “performs only for himself”. He has earned two PhDs, in physics at Yale University and in educational psychology at the University of Minnesota – “viewed” today as but “merit badges” awarded in the distant past. Knowledge and competencies gained earning my four higher-Ed degrees are but a small part of my contemporary knowledge and competencies. Larry/nuet has been employed in a number of positions, and has done well. It was never Larry’s goal to be wealthy.

Fundamentally, Larry never developed requisite social skills to “advance” in societal institutions, or to gain greater financial security. He frequently failed to perceive and/or take advantage of many “social advancement” opportunities. However, many serendipitous opportunities contributed to the development of nuet.

[Since initially authoring this (01/07/2016), I have discovered I am on the Autism Spectrum, and probably have been all my life. My lifetime “stimming” (self-stimulation by fingers touching fingers, recently amplified by using rubber finger tips) was the initial clue. – 11/21/2017]

Larry/nuet never “experienced” himself performing roles: son, brother, husband, father, friend, employee, professor, scientist, activist. etc. He has never considered having a “career”. He has not pursued a life objective or goal – EXCEPT “contributing to the future of Humankind/Gaia”. Although having the perspective of a “futurist”, he never was able to apply this perspective to himself. He never even considered a life strategy.

His life has been a walk between decisions selecting alternatives that were presented to him. There is striking contrast between his personal approach to strategizing his personal future and his analysis of what is needed for strategizing the future of humankind.

Larry views himself as  a “savant”. Larry lacks mental imagery in all sensory modalities, and thus has no sensory remembrances. He can’t recall sensory experiences from the past, even a few seconds ago. Larry can’t replay prior experiences. He has a “kind of memory” that serves him sufficiently so that others are not aware of his disability (discovered at age 22). The nature of this memory will be discussed elsewhere.  What is important to others in dialog with Larry, is to be alert that he may not remember the earlier part of the dialog, and may attempt to repeat himself. Be free to tell him he is repeating.

Stimuli can trigger a conceptual memory, that an experience had occurred in his past and that it had some specified content. But remember, Larry is not re-experiencing. Larry keeps an elaborate system of records and uses them constantly. However, this system is grossly inadequate to his needs.

When Larry explicates content he is “channeling” “nuet”. Larry experiences what he says at the same time others hear him. This is also true for many, if they attend to the phenomenon. Nuet, through Larry, may edit the speech in process. This occurs much more frequently when Larry channels nuet in writing. Larry is often aware of this editing, which at times can confuse and destabilize his communication.

For decades Larry has explored the potential of designing/creating a app to adequately seaf networked dialog – still a critical need.

Larry’s perception and behavior are changing, which is important for others to know.
Since his cancer in 2010-11, Larry has no teeth. He can’t tolerate dentures. His eating adapted, but his speech is not always clear. Nor is his perception of his own speech always adequate. He can be given feedback and adapt a comprehensible mode of speaking.

  • Larry uses hearing aids, that are not always adequate for him to comprehend speech. He can no longer comprehend some dialog in TV drama (but OK for films and TV news). He has experienced difficulty with online SKYPE-type communication with some persons; having no difficulty with others. With online communication he uses earphones and not his hearing aids.
  • Larry’s arm strength is very poor with painful elbows; and his hand coordination is deteriorating rapidly. His typos are so frequent that he must edit all output – many times.  It is shocking what he can no longer do with his hands. His cursor often jitters. Touch screens are impossible to navigate. It is going to get worse.
    • [11/21/2017 – it has become much, much worse. Both hands feel like large, stiff but with rubbery surface ends of his weak and painful arms. I have difficulty putting pills in my daily reminder container and can’t button most shirts. I frequently drop things. I cannot support even mild weight in my left arm. My stimming often keeps me awake for hours after lying down to sleep – I often flap my arms.]
  • As Larry elders, his communication facilities deteriorate. Although Larry may live 10-20 more years, his performance at interaction interfaces may need modification, and he will need adequate training to use them well. Speech-to-Text may be needed, but also training in speech clarity. Larry doesn’t know if he has the persistence of (I block on his name, a frequent occurrence), Stephen Hawking (whom I envy) (I goggled “disabled astrophysicist”).  I would be seriously disabled if computer searching wasn’t available.
  • When expressing free thoughts, nuet/Larry often wanders widely through the whole complex web he calls Nuet’s Nodes. He can quickly shift from the very concrete to the very abstract, from structure to process and back again. He often digresses into giving examples or telling “stories”. After each sentence there are multiple options for where to go next. All this is what nuet/Larry is best at doing, weaving conceptual schemes, but it can be difficult for others to follow.
  • Larry has no agency for influencing this. What makes this worse is Larry has no ability to recall what he just said, as he has no sensory remembrances. When writing, he can see what he wrote. But he often won’t remember what he wrote days before.
  • Nuets Nodes is nested/networked with fractal-like complexity. There is no TOP, although Larry’s intuitive/emotional self often demands certain structures and “authority”.
    Some of nuet’s processing is projected as Larry’s conscious thinking.
  • A frequent response by Larry/nuet (to a conceptual scheme presented by an other, in text or in speech) is a statement presenting an offer to expand context. This is usually automatic, not under the conscious control by Larry.  This is a powerful asset of Larry/nuet, but can often lead to confusion and breaking contact. In responding so, Larry is never explicitly intending to “change the topic” to his interests. Larry truly wants to respond to a specific message. Yet, he can’t (honestly) respond in the context of the sender. So, he proposes an expansion of context, which can’t ever be adequately done in a finite message. This is often misinterpreted as Larry attempting to change the focus to his ideas. In dialog, the focus should be on the relationship, the attempted sharing. This is hard to accomplish.
  • Here is where limitations in our media technology blocks essential avenues of interactivity.
    • 11/21/2017 – I have coined the term LYPO, in analogy with TYPO – for Life-Errors in behavior, like putting food in the microwave but not turning it on, or forgetting why you went into this room or opened this cabinet. Everyone has a few lipos/month. I now have dozens daily. Indeed, much of my day is as a roaming Stimulus/Response mechanism. Fortunately, when deeply engaged I can keep reasonable focus; as in conversation of composing on computers.
    • Surprisingly, the frequency of relevant insights within nuet are increasing. Adequately recording then and later explicating is getting more difficult.
    • I often don’t remember what I wrote, even a few days ago. I am pleasantly surprised to discover how many quality (my opinion) essays I have written over the years – most of which I not only had forgotten, but don’t recall writing them. My blog contains far more text than I have imagined. Organizing, editing, and linking is needed; but I am not sure I can keep focus enough to do it. My extensive archives going back many decades is an enterprize to big to contemplate.
    • 2017 has witnessed a rapid decline in behavior. It is November and it has been months since I had a day where I did one task to advance my life beyond this routine. Indeed, I daily fall behind in simple “keep-up” tasks. Mu current TODO list has hundreds of items. I move this list daily (copy/paste in-block) within my PIM ECCO. I constantly refer to my daily TODO items, an essential aide, which I have used for decades. Editing and programming my TODO system has been on my TODO list for more than a year! Actually, I have periodically devoted a few days, over the prior decades, to developing a functional TODO system – but never complete the work. I speculate that Larry/nuet requires a SEAFing team to make Larry’s work reeee (relevant, effective, efficient, enjoyable, elegant). SEAF = Support/Enable/Augment/Facilitate.
    • Given my poor memory, a TODO item stimulus leads to a response ONLY if responding immediately. This seldom happens. I speculate that my TODO lists are orders-of-magnitude larger than most – due to my unique savant nature. My list includes many items that call for the design/initiation of projects – for myself and for teams. Within nuet, my TODO lists merge with nested/networked strategies.
    • Nuet is generative; given time and technology, these strategies could be unpacked to Project Management Apps for the whole of humankind, for decades. Schedules for myself for a week would be an accomplishment. [This triggers __?’s___ insight on the distinction between “achievement” and “accomplishment” I learned long, long ago – sometime my memory does work. My objective/goal distinction is also relevant; goals being the intended consequences of achieving objectives.]

Larry/nuet and his PEERS

Larry’s traditional practice has been to minimize/limit contact with his peers, for diverse reasons.  Even when faculty, his social network was often dominated by students.  He associates more with learners than with knowers. He has found it difficult to sustain dialog on BIG issues with others also competent working with BIG issues.  For Larry/nuet, conversational exchange was never an adequate  medium for sharing what he wanted to share. Others probably ceased interaction due to Larry’s continued critique of their means of sharing and his continued asserting that the others didn’t yet comprehend his “big picture”, although many approved of his “smaller” insights.

There are many persons Larry/nuet has identified as critical minds to engage in UPLIFT.  Because his many, different deliberate attempts to interest others in his alternative path to insure survival/thrival (UPLIFT to Cultural/Societal Metamorphosis) has not yet succeeded in generating any interest in this STRATEGY AS PROPOSED REAL ACTION, Larry has learned to avoid trying to share his big ideas with his peers, via existing channels.

None of the comments to his chapter on this topic in The Spanda Journal have even acknowledged his proposal for an alternative strategy and concept for our Crisis-of-Crises and potential “solutions”. The vast majority of comments were about  “smaller” ideas the commentator had that were associated with topics within in the chapter. Few, to none, critiqued content in the chapter.

Larry/nuet’s posts on the inadequacy of our current technology and calls for what we might need, go unanswered.  It is as if we are trapped by forces we are unaware of and don’t acknowledge how we are limited. These posts elicit few responses. Many others have each identified one, specific limiting factor and have written about it; but nothing is done to treat the limitation. The whole complex of limitations remains in our collective blindspot.

The REAL system of reasons why Larry/nuet avoids contact with relevant peers is deep in his “personality”, developed early in life. Is he afraid of being proven wrong?  More, Larry/nuet comprehends that to evaluate his big proposals, they must be first comprehended. No one has the time and dedication to devote to comprehending his system of conceptual schemes.  Larry fears invalid judgments arising from inadequate comprehension. His conditioning to failures in adequate sharing limits his serious attempts.

11/21/2017 – I just realize that I have long ago given up attempting to share during synchronous dialog – which may explain why I seem to have given up engaging in such dialog – F2F or by phone. I haven’t called my brother in almost a year – although “all David” is seen every day on my TODO list.  Also daily ignored is ny reminder to yoga-stretch/exercise – which I know may be the most important daily activity I should do – only half an hour daily – but I still ignore it, for over a decade! I do move weekly, online over ZOOM, with Jamie in San Francisco.

  • “Peers” is a delicate category for persons I know or know-of. I highly respect the minds of those who are close friends/colleagues. We first encountered each other via specific circumstances, and then we learned of each others interests, knowledge, competencies, and idiosyncrasies. You tolerate my attempts to push my “big picture” concerns and ideas on you. Not that you don’t have your own such concerns and ideas – which I try to learn – and which I value. A few of you have written books, where a bigger scheme is presented. You are my “personal peers”. This includes some I encounter online.
  • There is another group, I will call “conceptual peers”. I know of them from their writings and achievements. Of those passed, are: Gregory Bateson, Doug Englebart, Erich Fromm, Donald Michael, and an endless list. They, and the multitude still living, seem-to-me to-have-minds who share the MSC (Magnitude/Scope/Complexity) of our “REALITY”. They, as I, are also limited and not “fully comprehensive”; yet I feel a “camaraderie” with them at a “highly abstract level”.  A few of them I have encountered and have occasional contact with; but I don’t pursue dialog.
  • Over his life Larry has encountered many persons with quality minds, with whom he has been open to increasing contact. More recently with SKYPE (& ZOOM). All were enjoyable (but also frustrating, in what couldn’t be shared in conversation). But all ended – just petered out. I speculate that I am often too intense, and not listening.  I also deeply believe that CONVERSATION is a grossly inadequate modality for sharing complex conceptual schemes.

Larry/nuet is also, subconsciously, sensitive about his radical foundation on the KNOWLEDGE OF IGNORANCE.  Ignorance = Knowing OF what one doesn’t YET Know or Comprehend, or can’t YET Appreciate or Do. Others have proposed this perspective. This foundation, treating “ignorance” as a valuable type of knowledge, has enabled Larry/nuet to be very comprehensive over “all” relevant domains of human knowledge – but not an expert in any domain. Two PhDs informed him of how trivial such higher degrees are compared to the expanse of all knowledge.

Larry, as a disabled human (lacking all mental imagery and “autistic”) has missed actualizing many opportunities encountered in his life. Larry’s behavior has never been nearly commensurate with the knowledge and comprehension of nuet – the internal/woven world hosted by Larry’s mind/brain.

ADVICE TO MY PEERS: Should you value interaction with Larry/nuet, you will need to assume responsibility in managing the contact. This is specially true now that Larry’s memory is in decline. He cannot even be trusted to respond to his exploding TODO list.

Larry/nuet in GROUPS

I have always been very self conscious in groups, my most frequent behavior being an observer instead of participant. Woodstock was an exception. In the major March on Washington (I was close to MLK as he gave his Dream Speech) I was an observer, as with all my “protest” actions.  At parties, gatherings, conferences, even small seminars – I seldom feel as a participant.  I know I am not alone in this.

Yet, I can often “speak my mind” in opposition to what is happening. I can, occasionally, be obnoxious.

In an “informal gatherings”, often with drinks and treats, I wander among the conversing groups. I am usually unable to insert myself into a group. I even have considerable trouble approaching persons I know. I never have anything to say.

HOWEVER, with a complete stranger, once in dialog, I can expound on anything! I can reveal personal “secrets”.

ONCE, welcomed as a participant in a conversing group, I can be fully “open” (often too much).

When speaking to an audience, I “see”. but don’t “relate to”, the persons.
At a lecture or presentation, I sometimes SPEAK OUT, to challenge the speaker.

Larry/nuet with INTELLIGENT TECHNOLOGY

Although early knowledgeable about mainframe computers and small computer innovators, I didn’t engage until I could use them: word processing and online sharing – in the early 1980s.  I am not and never have been a geek. However, I have always been hyper-sensitive to the unacknowledged limitations of contemporary technology.

Many useful features of older apps have been abandoned. Learning/Training  to use apps are grossly inadequate. Commercialization has captured Intelligent Technology to an extent not yet noticed by users. Our “field of apps” could have been radically different from what we use today.

I continue to use some decades old apps, because they have feature the newer apps lack. Advancement in computer technology has not always been progressive. Windows-10 is the MOST cantankerous and slowest OS I have ever used!

Personally, I am slow in adapting to new technology. I use my cell phone as only a telephone. I resist transforming my computer system to mobile. I have always avoided RAPID responses. I often respond to emails OFFLINE, and copy/paste for sending.  I use TWO monitors, and would use more if I could.  The mobile screen is far too small for what I want to do. I acknowledge I am an OLD FART.  Mobiles have the USES and LIMITATIONS.

Larry/nuet ONLINE

I started in the early 1980s dialoguing in FORUMS. Sometimes I was asked to leave because my posts were too long and not “conversational”.

I am very FAR from being adequately “organized” for reeee online activity!! THIS I ACKNOWLEDGE!

Both the awesome POTENTIAL and the fearsome COMPLEXITY of cyberspace is DAUNTING.

We face a Cornucopia-of Riches with semi-paralyzed eyes/hand/minds.
Contemporary social media platforms are both grossly inadequate to our needs, AND potentially destructive to our futures.

Larry, as an adaptive human person, has considerable limitations in using our new technology.

Larry’s DECLINE

Paradoxically, as Larry become senile, nuet appears to be accelerating its emergence.  It is if Larry held back nuet’s emergence.

Larry’s associative links between words and concepts is breaking down – for language in general use; but not when writing (channeling nuet).

For example, when I am to chose a word for a specific item in a category set – any word from the set can be spoken to label any concept or item. When I speak to or about one of our dogs or cats, I never know what name will pop out.

This also occurs when I try to perform a task with a few actions. I never know what action I will perform – often out of order.

Larry has become a Stimulus/Response machine.  Much of what he does around the house occurs when he sees a stimuli. If he doesn’t respond then, he may not perform that task later. I take my pills only when I see the pill container; if I don’t look at it I may not take my pills all day.  I often can’t remember whether I performed a task or not.  When I move to do something I often don’t remember what I was going to do when I get there.

Larry usually won’t initiate a task unless he see’s a stimulus.  I have a very long TODO list, but I must go do the task immediately on seeing it in the list because I won’t remember the task later.  I have hundreds of essays in draft form, but don’t remember them unless I look at the list of titles. I no longer remember most of the posts in my blog.  I only remember those I frequently refer to. There are many essays composed years ago that I have no knowledge of ever writing; and many impress me. {I recognize that I just re-inserted the content of the few prior paragraphs, earlier in my editing of this essay – 11/21/2017}

For the past few months, most of my writing has been responding to emails or blog posts.  I start responding to the message and quickly nuet takes over and I start an essay. Usually what I write I consider important and sometimes is well written. For emails I may Bcc them to a short list. My intention has been to edit the essays and post them on my blog; but that never gets done.  While writing or reading an insight is often triggered. For most I take some time and start an essay in one of three apps. Only a few do I return to, expand, edit, and post.  This is one such essay that I have returned to many times over a week or two.

The topics of the insights (large and small) imply that nuet’s conceptual schemes of our critical reality is improving. Many insights reveal a blindspot I had or an assumption I am asked to question. In particular, I grok why my conceptual schemes of UPLIFT and Societal Metamorphosis have not been adequately comprehended.

I also get insights of other types of actions I should be performing – and these enter my TODO list – where they collect dust.

I used to enjoy simple quiet thinking – without mental imagery – grok sailing in Nuet’s Nodes. I no longer can do this.  Nuet expresses only when I keyboard or am in verbal conversation – a process which has been greatly reduced the past few months. I always go to sleep listening to BBC radio news or a CD novel.

nuet’s nu EMERGENCE

nuet, hosted by Larry, is a unique nuet-type-entity compared to those hosted by others with sensory imagery.  Larry, lacking sensory imagery, has seafed nuet to “expand” in ways that make nuet very useful to humankind today. I won’t detail that here. But, I feel that nuet is actually accelerating its own “expansion”.

However, nuet doesn’t control Larry. Larry always has needed “management”, but as Larry declines it is critically necessary that he be “managed” if nuet is to continue emerging and be useful to humankind.

Doing something about this has been on Larry’s TODO list for quite a while.
How many other “nuet-like” creative, inner worlds are “chomping at the bit” to be liberated from their bio-host’s constraints?

Seek out your own “nuet” = nu ET = nu (future oriented from our Here&Now, contrasted with “new” oriented from the past); and Extra-Temporal, Explorer-in-Time, Expeditions-in-Time (something “more”).

WOW !!!  I see I posted this 01/07/2016, about 5 months ago. It is now 05/28/2016 and I had totally forgotten composing this, and even reading it now, I have no memory of writing; although I agree with what I just read. How much I have forgotten is beginning to astound me. New edit 07/07/2016 & 11/21/2017.