¶ 1 Leave a comment on paragraph 1 0 [At this moment, 5/2/18 1:00pm, Eloise and I are in agreement as to my future after surgery and a smooth exodus of me from this house and the influence of Tommy. I continue to have concerns of how Tommy and Eloise will jointly decide on the future of Eloise’s many “things”. Tommy has the bent to remove and destroy without consultation. I am now confident that Eloise will facilitate my stages of care and future habitat, securing me access to computers. Much of what follows was written in different stages of my emotional wrld.]
¶ 2 Leave a comment on paragraph 2 0 My MOST PRIZED piece of furniture was willfully STOLEN by my “grandson” yesterday, and eventually DESTROYED. I can only speculate on his motivations. I believe it was an act of (sub-conscious) vengeance on me; but Eloise believes not, claiming Tommy was stressed and over tired.
¶ 3 Leave a comment on paragraph 3 0 She criticized him over the phone this morning. He claims he didn’t know where it would go in the house. I was planning to take it with me. I had initially moved it, myself, from the guest room to the living room and wanted to put my stuff back in it, but Eloise said not. She had removed what I had in it. I later moved it around in the living room mess (from Tommy’s room) so I could have access to it; and Tommy should have noticed. I wonder, now, why Eloise had totally emptied it, even the drawers; and resisted my putting things back?.
¶ 4 Leave a comment on paragraph 4 0 It was an antique wooden cabinet, in very good shape. Tommy should have appreciated its construction. He could have given it back to the antique store I bought it from, rather than discarding it. He reports he damaged the cabinet moving it from his truck at location others might find items to use. How much else of Eloise’s will he dispose of, without Eloise’s knowledge?
¶ 5 Leave a comment on paragraph 5 0 [5/2/18 Eloise didn’t stop Tommy from disposing of my red, leather recliner and stool. It had cat cuts, but highly functional – and it might have been the recliner I will need after surgery, for sleeping with my neck brace.]
¶ 6 Leave a comment on paragraph 6 0 At this writing, I have yet to confront Tommy. I should totally ignore him; but Eloise asked him to apologize. I can’t accept an apology – at this time. I fear confronting him, as he had threatened to “murder me” in the past; a threat Eloise says I shouldn’t take seriously. Should I threaten Tommy’s egotistical goals, he might be driven to it. This is why I make this situation public.
¶ 7 Leave a comment on paragraph 7 0 I can accept that Tommy may not have consciously decided to dispose of my cabinet to hurt me. But, his decision to dispose of such a quality item without asking us implies subconscious motivation. Eloise just phoned and is helping Tommy load his truck to bring over more stuff from his apartment.
¶ 8 Leave a comment on paragraph 8 0 I now regret that I “pushed” to have Tommy and Renee move in, so Eloise could be adequately cared for; even though it would force me out. I am already missing the animals. Cat, Whimsy, is lying just to the left of my keyboard, as I type. I fear the control Tommy will force on Eloise.
¶ 9 Leave a comment on paragraph 9 0 Eloise is “actively” working to find a suitable “situation” for me. Close so we can visit. I now feel “rushed” to move. Nor can I now accept any help from Tommy, in moving out. Or even repairing my bed, before I move.
¶ 10 Leave a comment on paragraph 10 0 But most damaging is my being forced to not “hate” Tommy. I work to live my “truth” that we are all “wrlds”, not of our own “conscious intentional” making. In our “wrlds”, all that we do is “moral and justified”. In Tommy’s “wrld”, I am the man who constrained him, when at age two he often exploded in violent, destructive tantrums. Tommy is a “savant”, highly talented in making things, including tools for making; but he has many blindspots.
¶ 11 Leave a comment on paragraph 11 0 For over a year Tommy has refused to move his stuff from the room he used as a bedroom. He admitted, recently, that this was intentional to punish me. Eloise has controlled the house (she formally owns it, but I pay for it), from her own “wrld”, limiting me to ONE room. The cabinet had been in the guest room, and would have gone into Tommy’s old room, had I ever had access to it. It took Tommy only a few hours to empty that room, once he and Renee were going to use it. He had dumped all that was in the two room into the living room, while they were carpeting (very competently) “their” rooms.
¶ 12 Leave a comment on paragraph 12 0 [Today, March 2, 2018 – Eloise claims that she was waiting for me to “get off my fat ass” (at my computer) and remove Tommy’s stuff from that room. She laughed at my stated concern of what Tommy might do to me or my things.
¶ 13 Leave a comment on paragraph 13 0 This is a very critical day for me, a major break between myself and Eloise, and her “system”. I am scheduled for spine surgery on 6/13. Tommy and Renee don’t want me to return here, and I now fear returning to this house controlled by Tommy. He is moving things, replacing things, with no attempted negotiation. Eloise either fully accepts his rule or fears him.
¶ 14 Leave a comment on paragraph 14 0 Eloise is attempting to control my future placement. I would appreciate her assistance, but fear her CONFLICTED motivations. Part of her wants to help me. But, in metaphor/speculation – like a split personality, there is a “side” that truly hates me (as a projection of her hate for her father, and all men). She can switch quickly from a “bitch that hits me” to a sweet and caring “mate”.
¶ 16 Leave a comment on paragraph 16 0 I offered Eloise the option of having neutral mediators evaluate the “truth” of our conflicting realities. She didn’t refuse; but implied that she would be proven correct – that I am paranoid and delusional. Eventually I will relate this issue to my surgeon and my new team of care workers. At this moment she is telling her “side” to her friend, Maureen, in Minneapolis. I had started to edit and post an essay on our global Crisis-of-Crises, but was diverted to commenting here.
¶ 17 Leave a comment on paragraph 17 0 My primary concern is having computer/cyberspace access after surgery. To be fair, Eloise has been in full support of this for me. I am now in favor of my not being her after my surgery. I need to be free from any influence by Tommy. I need to insure access to my things from wherever I am. 5/2/18]
¶ 18 Leave a comment on paragraph 18 0 I have long noticed the similarities between the challenges of the local to global. The Crises-of-Crises at Koralee Place in Tucson are of the same nature as our Global Crisis-of-Crises. I have similar empathy for Tommy and Eloise as I do for Trump and Putin. Our challenge is to creatively emerge a “nu human phenomenon” to replace (not transform) the old phenomenon, called “civilization”. “Nu Systems” must emerge and merge, at all holon levels, from family to planetary.